*******************************Picture this out. You are in a mall or some place where there are lots of people. On that day, you decided to just stroll out alone. As you pass by people around you, a familiar person's face struck your sight. He is your EX and you loved him so much before but those were parts of your past already. You had each other for months or years. Yet, your relationship didn't end well and there was no closure.
You had struggled so much to get over him for months or even years. And there in front of you, just a few steps away and standing discreetly, is that guy. He still has the same eyes, same smile and same gestures. What will you do?
Try to walk past him and pretend you weren't able to notice him? Good idea. But then, when you were passing by, he saw you and called your attention. Now, you are in front of him and what will you do?
The first question would initially be, "Musta ka na?". You would instantly and instinctively say that you are "okay." Then the conversation will probe further. Would you excuse yourself so that you can avoid that conversation or not?
You know that after him, you had never had a successful relationship that lasted longer. You know that you might have forgotten about him already yet as you see him again, as if it struck a nerve in you. As if something needs to be done.
According to a psychologist, this is where our fight or flight emotional response takes place. It determines how strong you are. If you fight, there will be casualties if you lose. If you flee, you can avoid the confrontation. Take the risk or Leave the risk behind?
Most fighters, they do this thing. They try to impress their ex's as to tell them that they had been good since their last breakup. Sometimes, they need to tell lies and brandish ideas of their current relationship. The ending, they could win this fight by using a gun with an empty ammunition.
But the backfire could also come, when your ex starts to tell you about his relationship. He says that he is also in a current relationship and is very happy and contented. You can see the truth in every word he says. As much as you would like to, how you wish that he was just doing the same thing that you are doing. Pointing a gun without an ammunition. You wish that he was also just telling you lies and that he had never been happy after your relationship.
But then there is the other one, when we choose flight. When you choose to flee, you avoided confrontation. You avoided the casualties yet you also miss the opportunity to ask him how he is. You miss the opportunity to say the things that you could say. There are many what ifs and it will be left unanswered. That agony is most often, unbearable.
What do you think is the best thing to be done? Be the fighter but leave some space wherein you can flee whenever you need to. Honesty is the best offense at this time yet hold on to your emotions, this would be your Achilles' heel. Tell him the truth about your status but keep yourself shielded. Always show a fighting face. You should never back down in your conversation, just be honest.
Who knows, it could end in an even favorable scenario if you found out that there are still chances for the both of you. However, do not keep your hopes up. Remember, keep yourself guarded. Sometimes, our ex's are the greatest ghosts that we need to face to move on.